Sunday, August 9, 2009

A Retrospective of Change.

Facebook''s "what book of the Bible are you" said it best. "Life with you is never boring". As "Revelation"; statements regarding my eccentricity and unusual pursuit of things that don't always make sense in the natural were also made, but this "never boring" thing has long been my life's mantra.

As a 37 year old married father of 3, my existence has definitely had its fair share of the roller coaster called "life". Born under unusual circumstances, purportedly removed by the state and later adopted, an endless string of episodes of "self discovery", tumultuous relationships both romantic and otherwise, unusual family situations brought on by less than wise decisions, and an endless array occupations searching for the right "career", all while trying so desperately to find my niche in this world...The movie "Parenthood" has nothing on me, whether I like the roller coaster or not, this is where I have lived, essentially all my life.

Lately has been no exception, and in fact makes a perfect example of the many chapters in my life which have been so similarly drawn out. I was fired from one of the few truly "career" positions I have had, for trying to take care of my responsibilities with due diligence in the face of a co-workers apathy-fueled failure to fulfill theirs. It took several months to find work again, and that was at a most likely dead-end job with low pay and hours that would have taken me from my family and my church, for years to come. As in the past, "open doors" don't happen for me unless there are 2 or more to choose from. Just like Abraham and Isaac, my "ram in the thicket" appeared. My first day on this job, I ran into a former manager who is in need of someone to quickly train in and begin managing a small business for him. The pay should be better but isn't guaranteed, but the hours would let me see my kids and remain involved in my church. Obviously, I'm there. I tell my wife, as there is another possibility on the horizon; "Look, this other place is going to call before I'm at this new job a full week". Wednesday, I get that call.

This other opportunity, we'll call it...Well, even the company it would be coming from isn't sure exactly what it is yet. They're in the process of leveraging a large expansion of the company, so the future of the location in which I'm interested is unknown. They don't plan on closing, but they know they have to move next year anyway, so this would be an opportunity to somewhat painlessly "scale back" their operation there. I'll know a lot more in a week, maybe two. Then they'll be calling to schedule an interview where I'll drive 5-6hrs to go meet them, see the current operation, etc. In the meantime, this leaves us a lot of time to prayerfully consider what we see as possible offers this company could be making. Any offer would involve my moving out there to see if it will work, and my eldest daughter is a Senior in High School. We would want her to finish school with her friends, so the rest of the family would stay here while I go "try it out". We'd be looking at roughly 6 months of this arrangement, with a few opportunities to visit home in the meantime.

There is a story of a man who found a pearl in a field...Yeah, you know the one. He sold all of his belongings in order to buy the field and own the pearl, making him more wealthy than before. Today this would be like buying barren land that you happen to know has oil for which you could sell the drilling rights. It is possible this other opportunity could be something like that. Heck, if they scale back enough, or their existing staff wish to relocate to the new expansion, I suppose I could be considered to come in and run the place. The fact is we just don't know right now.

So, here I am, smack-dab in the middle of a potentially tumultuous decision that would most likely hold lifelong ramifications, for the positive or the negative. It is something that has been on my heart for many years, and could lead to one of my life's ultimate goals. Or it could be one of the most difficult and destructive things we've ever attempted.

We are seeking wisdom and direction, and have many people praying with us on this right now. In the end, it's all going to come down to what the offer is, whether it looks like that "pearl" opportunity, worth selling all we own in order to go after it. After watching Eric Bana's "Love the Beast" documentary, I can hear Dr. Phil telling me "you have to chase that dream, it's a part of who you are", while at the same time cautioning; "you have no right to endanger your family's stability or livelihood if it isn't a legitimate opportunity".

It would take major stretching and possibly outside help to be able to attempt this move, but if it is worth pursuing, it is worth going all the way. Keep us in your prayers, hearts and minds. I'll update as we know more...